Mentors, Coaches, Sponsors...Oh My!
How to tell the difference, and how to get the support you actually need (without waiting for a formal program)
You know those times when you’re stuck thinking what’s next in my career, questioning everything from your skills to your sanity, and someone says, “You should get a mentor!” or “You need a coach!” or “Have you thought about finding a sponsor?”
And you’re like… cool cool yep onto it. But what’s the difference again?
If you’ve ever nodded along while quietly Googling “mentoring vs coaching vs sponsorship” on the side - you’re not alone.
I’ve been lucky enough to experience all three. And I’ve also been all three for others. Even so, I still catch myself asking:
What do I actually need right now? Advice? Accountability? Advocacy?
Let’s break it down together.
What’s the difference?
There’s a ton of great thought leadership out there (Harvard Business Reveiew, I see you), but here’s how I think of them:
Mentor = someone who shares their experience and advice to help you grow
A mentor has a convo with you - about themselves - to support you.
Sponsor = someone who uses their influence to advocate for you
A sponsor is having a convo about you - to someone else.
Coach = someone who helps you build or refine a specific skill
A coach has a convo with you - about your skills - to help you grow.
I also believe that mentoring doesn’t have to be a formal, long-term relationship either. Sometimes a mentor is someone you’ve never met - maybe it’s a podcast host whose advice lands perfectly every time (thank you This is Work podcast hosted by Shelley Johnson), or a writer whose content always makes you reflect. It can be one moment, one insight, one “oh wow, that hit” and still be mentorship.
Each one plays a different role, but when you’re navigating change, it helps to have all three in your corner.
This chart helped me make sense of it:
Also check out How to find the person who will help you get ahead at work TED talk by Carla Harris who explains sponsorship and the role of a sponsor very clearly.
A real-time example: how I’m using all three during a career pivot
Right now, I’m in a career transition. My role was made redundant, and I’ve had some secondments across the business for the past couple of years while I figure out what’s next. It’s exciting… and also overwhelming.
I’ve found myself drawing on all three types of support:
Coaching
I know what I’m good at, but turning that into a clear next step? Hard. Vulnerable. A little confronting. I’m working with a coach who is helping me get clarity by asking me the hard questions, and keeping me accountable on following through on steps I need to take to move forward. (Homework helps. Accountability matters.)
Mentoring
I’ve reached out to people I trust and admire - asking what they did when they changed industries or redefined their careers. What worked? What didn’t? What would they do differently now?
Sponsorship
I’ve intentionally asked people in my network to keep me in mind for roles or projects that align with where I want to go. I don’t say “Please advocate for me,” but I have shared what I’m looking for. These are people I’ve built trust with over time, and I know they genuinely want to help.
My playbook: how I seek support without a formal program
This is not a five-step plan. It’s more of a “this has worked for me” vibe. Take what’s useful and make it your own.
1. Start casual
Ask someone you admire for a 15/20-minute catch-up. “I’m exploring a few career ideas and would love to hear what your day-to-day looks like.” That’s it.
2. Be clear (clear is kind!)
One of my favourite reminders from Less Hustle, More Happy by Claire Seeber: if you want advice, say so. If you’re hoping to learn something, say what. People want to help. They just need to know how.
3. Use your work besties
Not sure who to ask? Start with your trusted circle. “Do you know anyone who’s made a pivot like this?” or “Would you mind introducing me to someone in that space?”
4. Build before you ask
Especially for mentoring or sponsorship, you need a relationship foundation. I don’t ask strangers to go to bat for me, and I wouldn’t recommend doing this. These kinds of support grow with time and trust. Pro tip: read Claire’s book Less Hustle, More Happy - she explains the concept of Relationship Currency really well.
5. Don’t overthink it
Mentorship doesn’t always come with a label. It might just be someone you chat to regularly for perspective. Coaching can be informal too - asking for feedback, learning in the moment. And sponsorship? That often starts with simply being visible and clear about what you want.
Bonus: the outreach email template I love
This gem is an example from the podcast Biz by Mamamia. It’s a super respectful way to reach out to someone you admire or want to learn from.
Subject: Would you be open to sharing how you navigated [topic]
Hi [Name],
I have been following your career for a while and I love the way you talk about [something specific] or / I admire how you [something personal and genuine].
I’m currently [explain where you’re at or what you’re exploring], and I’d love to ask you a couple of quick questions about [insert topic].
Totally understand you may not have the capacity, but if you’re open to a 15-minute chat sometime in the next few weeks, I’d be super grateful. Even a reply would make my day.
Thank you,
[Your Name]
Adapt it and make it sound like you. The key is: keep it specific, respectful, and low-pressure.
Final pep talk
You don’t have to do this alone. And you don’t have to have it all figured out to start.
Talk to your people. Ask the question. Reach out to that mentor-type person you’ve been meaning to book a coffee with. Ask your work bestie for a warm intro. Tell someone you trust that you’re figuring things out, and see where the conversation takes you.
Take the small step. Send the message. Practice asking. Because even if they say no, you’re no worse off than before, but now you’ve flexed your “just ask” muscle. And the more you do it, the easier it gets.
You’ve got this.
💬 Over to you
If this gave you the nudge to finally message that person or ask for that intro - go you! I want to hear how it goes. Wins, lessons, awkward-but-worth-it moments… I’m here for all of it.
Let’s connect!
📲 If you’re into bite-sized career and leadership convos, follow @workbestiesclub on Instagram!
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