Networking Without the Ick: A Guide for Introverts
The trick to networking? Do it in a way that works for YOU.
Networking has always been hard for me
As an introvert, I recharge by being alone, and I get overwhelmed in big groups - especially in work settings. People might not realise this because I can muster up some extroverted energy when I need to, but underneath, there’s often a lot of internal panic.
😕 Walking into a room solo?…Awkward.
😕 Trying to start a conversation…Uncomfortable.
😕 Maybe I should just turn around and leave...Great idea!
But - I know that if I want to grow and meet new people, I need to JUST. DO. IT. and lead myself through this discomfort.
The moment I knew I needed a new approach
I had been excited to attend a big conference with other leaders - specifically to meet new people. I had a good mindset going in and I was ready! I even set myself a goal: introduce myself to three people and connect with them on LinkedIn.
Simple, right?
But when I arrived, I found myself sticking to my “safe people” and struggling to move beyond familiar faces. I met one amazing, like-minded person, but when it came time to say, “Let’s connect on LinkedIn”, I chickened out. “It was lovely to meet you [mind blank on the name]”….awks.
Why? No idea. They were friendly, we had a great chat about leadership and financial literacy - but I couldn’t take that final step. Cue the *face palm* and internal chatter
🤦🏻♀️ That was a great opportunity and you missed it
🤦🏻♀️ You forgot their name so you can’t even look them up on LinkedIn
Pushing through discomfort
Meeting other people in business is important to me, and I genuinely enjoy deep conversations over coffee. One-on-one settings feel natural, but larger networking events? Different story.
After that ‘failed’ attempt, I didn’t want to give up. So I decided to go to another event - this time, on my own. I figured that if I really wanted to get better at this, I had to push myself out of my comfort zone.
I picked an event with a smaller crowd, where half of the time was spent listening to a speaker, cutting down on the “networking” awkwardness. I also got there early, which made it easier to start a conversation rather than trying to break into existing groups.
Walking into an event solo can feel intimidating, but it actually turned out to be a confidence booster. Without the safety blanket of people I knew, I was fully present in conversations, met some incredible women, and left feeling energised rather than overwhelmed.
So, what changed?
That moment made me realise: confidence doesn’t come from waiting until I feel ready - it comes from taking action, even when it feels uncomfortable.
I also reframed what networking meant to me. It’s not about walking into big corporate events, handing out business cards, and trying to “work the room.” That approach has never felt right for me.
Instead, I shifted my mindset to making intentional connections with people I vibe with.
Sounds simple, but this small reframe helped me focus on quality over quantity - one great conversation over ten surface-level introductions.
How I started doing networking my way
Since then, I’ve shifted how I approach networking.
Here’s what has helped me:
✔ Arrive early – It feels counterintuitive, but it’s so much easier to start conversations before groups have already formed.
✔ Go solo – No safety net means I am forced to to engage, and after the first conversation, it’s never as scary as I expect.
✔ Have go-to outfits – Something I feel comfortable and confident in. I have the same plants and blazers in different colours so I don’t have to overthink it - just pick the colours I’m vibing on the day!
✔ Have go-to questions – Instead of panicking about what to say, I keep these handy:
What’s a recent win you’re celebrating?
I’m trying to meet new people - mind if I join you? (Sounds simple but I do find this one harder - maybe because *vulnerability*)
What is your next holiday / favourite holiday destination?
Are you working on anything exciting at the moment?
What is your big goal this year?
What tv/movie/book character is most like you?
Shifting the focus outward has also made networking feel easier. When I concentrate on being present, listening, and engaging with others instead of worrying about how I come across, conversations flow more naturally. I’ve also refined my introduction using Work Besties ChatGPT to avoid overthinking what to say.
Each time I push myself to do the uncomfortable thing, I prove to myself that I can. And that’s what builds confidence.
The biggest lesson: relationship currency & self leadership
I’ve learned that networking isn’t just about meeting people - it’s about building relationship currency (check out Claire Seeber’s book Less Hustle More Happy).
Who you surround yourself with matters. Different people can support you in different ways - offering guidance, opportunities, or just good energy in your orbit.
It’s not about collecting contacts, it’s about creating meaningful, reciprocal relationships.
For me, this means:
Expanding my circle intentionally – I aim to have at least three people with great energy in my orbit who I can learn from and grow with.
Recognising that networking is a long game – Strong relationships aren’t built overnight, but small, consistent interactions make all the difference.
Nurturing connections – I don’t just meet people and move on. I check in, support their work, and show up for them when I can.
But first I have to meet them! Now instead of seeing ‘networking’ as a chore, I view it as a way to build a network of people who genuinely add to my career and life.
And just as important as showing up is knowing how to recharge after.
Schedule downtime – No back-to-back events. I space them out so I don’t drain myself.
Leave when I need to – If I’m not vibing, I don’t force myself to stay.
Have a recharge routine – A quiet night, a walk the next morning - really just some time on my own to decompress from the overwhelm.
It’s about knowing and leading yourself - what environments work for you, what makes you feel comfortable, and how you can own your experience instead of forcing yourself into something that doesn’t align.
Extra Note:
If I find networking uncomfortable, why did I start a business that essentially provides networking opportunities for ambitious women??
Because growth happens when we push through discomfort. I know how meeting new people can feel overwhelming, so I wanted to create a welcoming space where women can connect, without the pressure of “working the room.”
💡 Smaller groups to ease the overwhelm.
💡 Thoughtful conversations instead of surface-level small talk.
💡 A space where women actually want to show up.
Sometimes, if something that you are looking for doesn’t exist yet, then you need to be the one to create it!
Let’s connect!
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