The Third Place: Why Connection Outside of Work and Home Matters More Than Ever
What hybrid work taught me about connection, community, and why we still need spaces that feel like home.
There’s a simple idea that’s been sitting with me lately. One that feels even more relevant as work becomes more flexible, more digital, and more…disconnected.
It’s the idea of a Third Place.
Sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the term to describe the spaces between home (your first place) and work (your second place). Think cafes, libraries, or anywhere people gather informally for connection (no tasks or chores in sight!).
Historically, it’s where community happened. Conversation flowed. Everyone was welcome. No status, no pressure. Level playing fields. A space to just be.
With remote work, hybrid, and dispersed teams - we need these spaces more than ever.
The rise of remote work and the fall of casual connection
Work has changed. For many of us, it’s now hybrid, remote, and spread across states and time zones.
Take me, for example; my entire team and department are based in another state since 2017 (yep even pre-covid).
I still go into the office a couple of days a week, partly because I have to, but also because I want to. I plan my days around it - I have the flexibility to choose which days are most beneficial to go (usually when I don’t have back to back online meetings) so that I can use the time to catch up with people IRL. For me, office time is connection time rather than clocking in to log office hours.
Still, it must be said that I do my best thinking and deep work from home. The quiet suits me (plus being comfortable helps a lot as well!).
An important note on staying connected in the remote/hybrid work environment - I have had to be intentional about staying connected. I don’t have the random/chance ‘bump into you in the kitchen/hallway’ moments. I do what I can to re-create those “in between” by having virtual coffee chats and quick msgs to check in with people - just because.
When I’m not careful or intentional, I can dip into being transactional where connection falls to the side. And I don’t want remote work to lead to remove living.
We don’t need more meetings. We need more meaning.
This is where the concept of a “Third Place” comes back in.
We need spaces that exist outside of output and outcomes, outside of responsibilities and obligations. Places where we can feel human again, and talk about work and life. Friendships where we can ask for help or offer encouragement, be open and vulnerable to share our doubts and swap wins.
We need these places for or wellbeing and for our sense of community and belonging.
And yes, also for our growth - both personally and professionally.
Over the past few years, I’ve become more intentional (and more grateful) for the friendships and connections that sustain me. What has become really clear is that your career will grow faster, and feel more fulfilling, when you are surrounded by the right people - your people. The ones who inspire and challenge you. The ones who get it.
You can most definitely find these people at home and at work. But more often than not, we also need a circle that lives outside our org charts and dinner table.
So, where’s your third place?
Maybe it’s your Pilates class or your run club. Maybe it’s a book club, a networking group, or the co-working space you actually like showing up to.
Whatever that Third Place (or places) is for you, seek it out, protect it, and nurture it. Especially if you work remotely or if you are in a city when the rest of your team isn’t.
In a career context, that space matters more than ever, because it reminds us that we’re not doing this alone. That our doubts, or our ambitious, don’t have to be carried solo. We need our community to support us, to challenge our ideas for the better, and to celebrate our wins (big and small).
Those light bulb moments, and step changes in growth, leadership and confidence don’t usually happen in the boardroom - they happen with the people that you can be yourself with.
They happen in between.
PS - This idea is what inspired Work Besties and our in-person Leadership Lounge sessions.
They’re small group gatherings with big-hearted and ambitious women who want real conversations.
It’s space for honest reflections and shared growth.
Maybe thats the Third Place. The one that you didn’t know existed or that you needed - until now.
Let’s connect!
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